I’m Not That Girl

29 Mar 2011 1 Comment

by melette in Family, feelings, Friendship, Life, Love

Okay, this post has been in my head and heart for about 3 months now.  I’ve been almost a little leery about writing it because it’s very revealing. Hopefully, it will help me understand myself a little better and help you understand me a little better, too.

I’m not that girl that stops traffic with my looks. There’s nothing super glamorous or pretty about me. I like the way I look for the most part except for losing weight which is entirely up to me.  I’m just your average Black girl.

I’m not a girl with Daddy issues. My Dad and I are close, I love him. He has shown me through his successes and mistakes what a man should and shouldn’t be. He’s the ruler by which I measure all men. I don’t have issues with men because of my Dad. My issues with men are all my own from my mistakes and missteps.

I’m not the girl to lose sense of self over a man. I think that’s due to the fact that I’ve never been in love. I’ve never had that all-consuming feeling where the world outside ceased to exist because I was in a relationship. I’m never the one to cancel previous plans with friends or family because I’m involved with somebody. I’m not that girl who doesn’t talk to her friends for six months because I’m in love and he’s the best thing since sliced bread. I’m not the girl that stops eating because her boyfriend just broke up with her or cries for two days straight because she caught him cheating.

I’m not a girl that puts all my feelings out there. While, I enjoy conversing at much as the next woman, I keep a little part of myself separate from the world. I don’t think anybody knows me fully except the Creator and I bet he shakes His head at me daily.

I’m not that girl who allows people to hurt her, easily.  My big sis, Vanessa, tells me that I’m pessimistically cautious but I disagree,  I think I’m realistically cautious. I don’t think that you should set yourself up to get hurt. If you can do whatever you can to prevent it, then you take precautions. When I get hurt, I do one of two things. I will forgive you, place you in your new box in my life and keep it moving. Or, I will cut your completely out of my life.  That’s just how I roll.

I still feel like this post is incomplete. I guess I will try to finish it when I start examining my other feelings.

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